Guilt over 50

I am someone who has always felt guilt. Questioning most things, I do or have done.

You want to make sure everyone is in a good place so you put yourself on the back burner and now you find that your empty nest or sudden change of employment leaves you thinking about all unanswered questions, about decisions made, or the opportunities you let pass by. A few times I have thought I wouldn’t mind trying that. But found it would interfere with my home life, change the family dynamic or provide less time for those who need it.

Please don’t misunderstand, I am not complaining, and I would not change my decisions over the years for anything as my family is everything and they have always come first. But now is the time to really think about where I want to go and how I want to get there. Is there really life after 50? I love the Reba McEntire’s song “Is there life out there” so much she hasn’t done, is there life beyond her family and her home, she’s done what she should, should she do what she dares. To this I say Yes!

Did you ever not do something you thought might be fun or worth it because it could take you to new heights in your life? Thinking this could maybe bring extra money into the home but at what cost? So you pull back from moving forward? Please share what you have stopped yourself from doing, if you wouldn’t mind. Not just the first thing that comes into your head but close your eyes and think about what you really wanted to try or do and what stopped you from doing it?

I have a lot of these guilts running around in my head, Not doing something I thought might be good or fun because I didn’t want my family to think I was crazy. Let me give you a couple of visuals – coming up in my career there were a couple of opportunities I decided not to take. Opportunities that could have moved my career to new places but how much more time would I have to put into that new position? The money was not worth the time lost with my family. My next example is that I always wanted to get rid of all TV’s in the house and find something else to do. I still think we should do this sometimes, but addictions and habits run hard in me. I am allergic to discipline; someone telling me what to do. Oh and change I apparently really dislike change. I always felt I was always rolling with the punches excepting the changes in my life. I have found that I do not except them very well at all.  

We have no choice but to change as things progress but to do it on purpose and with intent to help ourselves I have rarely put myself in that position then stick to it when someone makes a comment, or drowns out your thoughts by calling your name or you turn on the TV or open your phone just to get sidetracked by playing a game. If you’re thinking about it now, what are you thinking? Self-doubt? No one wants to hear my opinion, someone else has a better idea, or my personal favorite I don’t know how.

Did you ever wake up in the middle of the night, or even go to bed with something on your mind and something really good hits your thoughts? You think I really must remember that in the morning, and it is gone in a matter of minutes. That is how this subject came to me. I have had a lot of thoughts come and go so quickly that I did not have the time to right them down. Starting my blogging I had to figure out a way to capture those thoughts as I have them. Learning something new and again on purpose.

If you think back to how fast the years have gone by, what would be the difference between yesterdays years and tomorrows years? Time doesn’t wait or stall and you pay a price for sitting on the sidelines. So, take the steps you have wanted to take, you know the ones – you came up with at the beginning of this blog?

 Take the direction that best suits you and will move you forward because; just because we are over the age of 50 if your above ground you are still moving forward. Embrace change and force yourself to change your habits to show yourself you can do it and that you have value. You are smart enough to know a lot of things you didn’t know you knew. A lot of stuff that bothered you yesterday doesn’t bother you the same way today because there is no pressure to worry about what others think. I have a friend that says his “my give a Shit button is broken” You are who you are and have at this point learned this, if you have not it is time to start the process…

For me it is starting this blog, I love to write, research and put things together with a bit of humor and sarcasm. My goal is to make enough money to blog full time and to write about how my life, habits and thought process how they changed over the next year.

If you feel the same way figure out how or what you need to get what you have always wanted. Go to school, read that book, take the leap believing that what you are doing today makes a difference to YOU.

My next Blog will be about stepping out of my comfort zone, why I did what I did and how I accomplished a dream I had for over a decade and made it a reality not without guilt or fear but in spite of it…Stay tuned…