You Can’t Tell Me What to do!

So, remember way back when you were young, and your parents would tell you what to do? Would you think or even say out loud “stop telling me what to do!” I am grown up and I know what I am doing”.

Have you ever used the phrase? “Do it Because I said so” and you stopped to think, Did I just say that?

• Because I said so
• I am counting to 5
• Wait till your Father gets home…
• Go ask your Dad, Go ask your Mom

These are some of my favorites and using the phrases that my Mother or my Father used always stop me in my tracks, even today with my adult children. But when the Grandson and the only Boy child born into our family, who by the way is only 3 years old comes out with “you can’t tell me what to do!” as the grandparent I am not sure if I should sit him down in time out or stop giggling. He said that to me the other day when I told him to come downstairs to have breakfast. I can’t even…

Although I have adopted a lot of the phrases my parents used on me when I was a kid and swore, I would never use. I find they come in handy when I don’t want to answer a question or want to stop my girls in their tracks. Phrases I always used to say to my children – life isn’t always fair and most of the times that you try you will fail. Does that mean you shouldn’t try?  As well as You are always where you are meant to be in that moment. So, trust yourself and your instincts to figure out what it is you want to do with your life. Good advice I gave to my girls but not sure why I could not apply them to myself all these years. My oldest daughter’s most hated phrase growing up was NO!

I have a lot of respect for my adult girls, they are very passionate and loving and fought me hard on a lot of things while they were growing up. I would use that phrase of my mothers “I hope you have a kid just like you” Well that served me well, because they both do have one just like them. I guess it served my parents well as I had 2 daughters just like me.

I must tell this story; it is one I tell when my conversations turn to this subject. My Youngest daughter was about 23 years old. She lived in her own place and was at my house visiting one day. I had dishes in my sink and I really didn’t want to do them, so I asked her to do them for me (I guess I have been Needy for a while). She gave me a dirty look and let me know she does not live here and shouldn’t have to do my dishes, get dad to do them. Well me being me I started counting, one, she looked at me with an are you seriously counting right now on her face, two, I am not doing your dishes, three, Mom!! I don’t want to do dishes, four, she got up and started washing my dishes! I was shocked my counting still worked on her. But my dishes got done. To this day though my counting has not worked again, on the adult kids anyway. My grandkids still fear my counting because they know there are consequences on the other side if I get to five.

you must learn as a parent when to let go and just let the child learn on their own and hope they apply all the lessons you tried to teach them. They then own their mistakes or consequences at that point even if we want to help them out. I still get involved and put my nose where it does not belong. But I feel that is because I have nothing to really make me feel like I am accomplishing anything else in my life for me. Something else to focus on that I can put my true self in.  Now I am aging with grace, I am home more often then not and find I am asking what I should do next. My girls want me to go to the doctor, eat better, exercise and drink more water then soda. They constantly say do what you want to do when it comes to my career and you have to start somewhere.  These are the same things I would tell them to do, now they are telling me what to do so now I find myself using the same words, “Stop telling me what to do!!”. I am a grown woman and you are my child.

So now I am learning a new hobby hoping that others will read my writing and feel it is worth the time to read, leave a comment or provide insight on their lives. I have a lot of anxiety to work through as my thought process was always who would read anything I wrote or I don’t have enough experience to write and my personal (hold me back) favorite is; I am sure others can explain it better. So, my self-doubt kicks into high gear and I just turn on the TV and keep myself from doing what I really enjoy doing. This has gone on for about 10 years, my self-doubt until this past weekend. Now I am doing Something, anything to move forward and help me pivot to my new destination. Baby steps, One issue at a time. One direction at a time and staying focused on that direction.

Thank you for reading, I am moving closer to my comfort level every day and I thank you for your support so please comment, share and get others who feel they have a new destiny to look into or self-doubt to get over to also read and subscribe as it will only get better from here!!