The Heart Attack

My saying was always “as serious as a heart attack”

Have you ever used this phrase? I used to use it as my talking exclamation point.

So my Husband of 32 years went to work one day, end of April beginning of May. It was a normal morning we get up I would have coffee, talk a little bit, kiss goodbye and off to work he went.

A little while into the morning I had gotten a phone call from him telling me “don’t panic”  I just had an accident and because he was having chest pain and a hard time breathing, feeling like he was having a heart attack the EMT’s were taking him to the hospital.

“Don’t Panic” I have learned that catch phrases make you react opposite of its intent.

Of course, I panicked! Waiting to find out what hospital he was being taken to, the drive to the hospital, finding him in the ER. I panicked!

I get there and he is laying in the hallway hooked up to EKG for his heart and an IV. We sat in the hallway for hours.

Sorry Mrs. Theriault your husband had a heart attack and will have to be admitted for surgery.

My life changed that day, so many things went through my head. Had I done enough for him, should I have done things differently, does he know how much I love him and cherish our relationship? Already preparing for the worst at that moment.

The next morning Ronnie went in for angioplasty to unclog his artery. The Dr. said it would take a few hours, but they would call when it was all done. So I went to the café to grab something to eat and kept myself busy. I barley finished my lunch when my cell phone rang, it was an administrator letting me know Ronnie was out of surgery for me to return to the surgical floor and someone would be out to talk with me. I was like yea, you go dude, got done so fast he is not in as bad a shape as I thought.

The Dr. Shows up and we head into a “quiet room” where he proceeds to tell me my husband has 2+ severe clogs in his major artery so they stopped the procedure right then and there.

He drew me pictures like I was going to understand anything at that moment and called the 2 clogs “widow maker” I was thinking oh good a name for it, that’s wonderful.

Ronnie had to have quadruple bypass surgery the next day!

So here is where I come into this story as a player, not just a standby right? Several hours after surgery was done My girls and I were finally able to go in and see him. Ronnie still had the breathing tube in him, the Nurse who was wonderful gave us a heads up on what to expect.

He was waking up with the breathing tube still in and stuff protruding from his neck and couldn’t breathe so he panicked. Before the Nurse had time to knock him back out again I went to hold his hand so he would know I was there and his girls were there, he squeezed lightly as the meds kicked in and he was out again.

As I was sitting there looking at his face wanting him to wait up when I looked down at his neck, all the tubes and wires, the IV’s in his neck, I went numb and surprised – I had to get up.  as I started trying not to cry or panic or lose my wits, My girls were trying to keep me calm as they saw the change in my demeanor go from worried to panicked. 

The nurse explained what these IV’s were (a lifeline to keep him comfortable and alive.)

Next day, the next day after that, the day after that and so on… I saw the fear in his eyes subside, feeling that fear with him every day as he healed. Have you ever notices when someone is in this position, so close to death how their eyes illuminate their color? Ronnie’s eyes are blue, they turned a sky blue so pretty and hard not to look at they just grabbed your attention. I spent the better part of 9 days looking at them. I sat there and watched my girls take care of their father better than some of the nurses, although most of them were great and spot on! Made Ronnie laugh and even in the middle of the night had great bedside manner

With no money coming in Ronnie did everything he could to get back to work quickly, he did it without much thought. His age and work ethic and the need to take care of his family kicked in so he was dedicated to getting better.

I did not realize at the time how much he put on his shoulders or how much it weighed on his mind, Ronnie went back to work within a month of his bypass, that was really fast. He tried to take better care of himself and had quit smoking. He had lost a lot of weight. What I did not realize is how much this was going to affect him mentally.

How much pain he was in and how scared he was when he woke up. He stated that he felt like he was all alone and my heart sank. I told him that he was not alone that we lived this experience with him. Every time he took a breath, we took a breath and every time he was in pain, we felt this pain. My girls propped his pillows, covered, uncovered him, and put his bed up or down several times a day called the nurses when he would get to uncomfortable. They also took care of me at the same time. They watched his monitors and explained what was going on and let me know what was good and what needed work. He was not alone my girls and I did not go under the knife, but he was not alone.